Lyrics

I wake up at seven each Saturday morning
My spirit another week lower
Avoiding an impending HOA warning
I gas up my edger and mower
The latest John Deere - purring as should be
But I fight back a tear, knowing I could be

A knight in the service of Peter The Great
If only this curse’d weed eater would break
Or a warrior beating some foe to the punch
Instead of competing for yard-of-the-month
I know I’m disturbing your wretched suburbia
Fi on the shovel - To hell with the rake

I wake up and scroll through this morning’s disasters

The highlights of envy and sorrow

Thirst traps and skincare, prosperity pastors

A new diet I’ll quit tomorrow
I’m doing those things every woman should do

I’m handbagging, hash tagging out the wazoo

But inside I still dream of that daring escape
And not just my next social media break

In a land where I live or I die by the sword
Instead of the cutest charcuterie board

I know I’m disturbing your wretched suburbia
Moonshine - FaceTime - Let them eat cake!

I’m bingeing on Netflix and SnapChat and emails
I check on the Dow and my Crypto
I swipe left on six incompatible females
My roommate’s passed out so I tiptoe
I wrestle with choosing cable or satellite
Either way losing, knowing I should fight

For freedom, for Aslan, for glory, for God’s sake
If I could get over this vile migraine headache
But instead of romancing and flirting and gorgeous
I’m here refinancing my 30 year mortgage
I know I’m disturbing your wretched suburbia
Clearly the playwright has made some mistake